December 2009
15 posts
13 tags
Tor's New Year's Resolutions for 2KX
Happy New Year’s from all of us at Tor’s Take! It’s time to make proclamations that none of us are going to keep, I mean, am I riiighhh(incoherent coughs and harrumphs)? Here they are, dammit. Be more consistent with my 2010 letter shorthand. Find a nice girl and settle down. Guess correctly on a “How Many Jelly Beans Are In This Barrel?” contest. Shoot a sheriff and...
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Live Blogging My 31st Birthday
I did this last year and it was a big hit with my readers (Read: wife and mother). So I thought I would do it again but this year I’m going to make it like a test. I will tweet the questions and I will put the answers here for you (Read: wife and mother) to check. Happy Birthday to me!! 1) I woke up to a) my wife bringing me breakfast in bed. b) my wife snoring loudly with her back turned. ...
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Tor's Onion Stories: December 29, 2009
I recently submitted to write for The Onion for the second time. Here are 10 story ideas that I did not use but enjoyed. World’s First Sentient Plastic Bag Killed While Playing With Toddler Older California Raisins Have Trouble Hearing Grapevine On A Quest For Normalcy, Man Watches “Benjamin Button” Backwards Wide Leg Jeans Develop Eating Disorder When Sharing Rack With Skinny...
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10 Things Husbands Should Never Do (First Draft)
I was on Yahoo and they had an article “10 Things Husbands Should Never Do” from Woman’s Day. As a husband to a great wife, I decided to click on it. Loly and I perused the article together. She decided it was the most sexist thing she’s ever read. (What a drama queen. Right, fellas?) Anyway, what’s crazy is that it was much better than the original draft the...
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Special Youtube Moment
I found this on the front page of YouTube before and it made me smile. It’s like looking up into the sky and seeing the same shooting star that another person somewhere in the world is seeing right before they call you stupid and gay. Moments…
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Huffington Post Loves FWP!
Yes, that’s Freshwater Picnic’s American Apparel version of the Gap Holiday Commercial! The Huffington Post thought we were funny! And they were right to think that! Thanks to the Huffington Post for putting it up! Here is a link to the article. If you’d like to watch it again for the first time…
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Stepdad Claus
This is the last holiday sketch and last sketch of the year from my new sketch group, Freshwater Picnic. Please enjoy it and we’ll see you with many, many more videos in 2010! Late one Christmas eve, Jimmy Freeman stayed up late to see Santa as he delivered presents. What Jimmy didn’t know was that his Mom was also waiting for the ‘Big Guy’ as well. Needless to say, he saw...
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Top 10 TV Comedies of the Aughts
I never got into Curb Your Enthusiasm and I have never watched Chappelle’s Show so I apologize for them not being on this list. I also left off shows that started in the 90s, like Family Guy and According to Jim (har dee har). Finally, shows like Community, Better Off Ted, Parks and Recreation, and Modern Family have only just gotten started. They may belong here one day. Honorable Mention:...
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"No, Ho, Ho!" An American Apparel Holiday Ad
Freshwater Picnic can’t stop making videos. Everyone has seen the Gap holiday ads on TV but no one has seen the American Apparel ad that actually inspired them. Check it out!
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Top 20 Comedies of the Aughts (Part 2)
I started the week with Part 1 of my Top 20 Comedies of the Aughts. You saw 11-20 but you were really waiting for the Top 10. Hear it comes. Tor’s Top Ten Comedies of the 2000s 10. Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back - Lion face! Lemon face! The return of Suzanne! Some Star Wars people! Kevin Smith gave us what was supposed to be the end of Jay and Silent Bob (it’s cool, Clerks 2). If I can...
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Coors Light Commercial Parody
Freshwater Picnic is back with some non-Twilight videos. Betcha didn’t see that coming. Bet the first word of that last sentence really angered my blog’s spellcheck program. The videos pay homage to the greatness that is the Coors Light Press Conference commercials with the different football coaches. They’re great.* These are to be viewed in the order they appear. It’s a...
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Top 20 Comedies of the Aughts (Part 1)
It’s the end of the decade and Tor’s Take, the foremost blog on Kevin Tor’s thoughts, has decided to compile some lists. People make lists at the end of the year and decade so why should I be any exception? We will start with my 20 favorite comedies of the last decade (along with some honorable mentions). Honorable Mention: She’s the Man - Amanda Bynes at her finest. Love...
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Funny Stuff That Ain't Mine: Tiger Woods Accident...
A Chinese news station made a full reenactment of what they think happened to cause the Tiger Woods car accident. It is amazing. It is something straight out of the SIMS. My favorite part is when Tiger is thinking about the mistress while Elin yells at him. A thought bubble? Genius. Well done, not United States!
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Twilight: New Moon Musical - The Duel
In this, the last song from our Twilight musical, Edward and Jacob face off in an epic duel. Does it end in a large fight with awesome special effects where I turn into a werewolf? No, I have at most 10 dollars to put into any video and you can’t make that kind of stuff happen. Come on, man, get your head in the game!
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Twilight: New Moon Musical - Chest Hole
This is song three in the Freshwater Picnic “New Moon Musical.” Bella is left by Edward and the pain of losing him is tearing through her chest. What???!?!?! Watch it. It’s a fantastic song. Kudos to Abby Holland (Bella) and Ash Louis (Guitarist).