Tor's Take

Where I put things that I think about stuff.

Notes

Recently, it was announced that Kelly Ripa broke her hip. Here are my guesses at how she may have done so to her tiny body:
Too much elasticity in the waistline of her panties.
Rolled over in bed.
Hip-checked a marshmallow.
One notch too far on the belt she bought at Baby Gap.
Rested her hand on it.
Stared at it too long in the mirror.
Butterfly flapped its wings in Peru.
Kathie Lee hired Tanya Harding’s crew, shrunk them down using that machine from the Rick Moranis movie, and let them wail on it with baseball bats the size of toothpicks.

Recently, it was announced that Kelly Ripa broke her hip. Here are my guesses at how she may have done so to her tiny body:

  1. Too much elasticity in the waistline of her panties.
  2. Rolled over in bed.
  3. Hip-checked a marshmallow.
  4. One notch too far on the belt she bought at Baby Gap.
  5. Rested her hand on it.
  6. Stared at it too long in the mirror.
  7. Butterfly flapped its wings in Peru.
  8. Kathie Lee hired Tanya Harding’s crew, shrunk them down using that machine from the Rick Moranis movie, and let them wail on it with baseball bats the size of toothpicks.

Filed under kelly ripa regis philbin kathie lee gifford