Tonight’s theme was “Songs From The Year You Were Born” which just makes me feel bad about how old I’ve gotten. I had a lot of these songs on cassingle. Oh that’s a word, Spell Check. Google it. While JLo decided to give a little criticism this time, the contestants should have gotten a lot more of a beating than they did.

Naima Adedapo - “What’s Love Got to Do With It” – Speaking of beatings, we start off with a weird version of Tina Turner. She gets credit for taking chances but she seems like a Rihanna-wannabe. Now, there’s good Rihanna (Umbrella) and there’s bad Rihanna (not Umbrella) but this was in the latter category. Like when the singing sounds like bees with a reggae beat behind them.

Paul McDonald - “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues” – He was sick this week and when your voice is as soft as his is, that could be disaster. And it was! This is now 2 weeks in a row that he stunk. Dancing like invisible bullies are pushing you around the stage can only take you so far. Pick up your guitar! Do better!

Thia Megia - “Colors of the Wind” – This was good for me because I was out pretty late shooting a new sketch last night so I needed a quick nap this morning. I thank her for that. It was like watching paint…sing.

James Durbin - “I’ll Be There for You” – He did not sing well this week and he’s so pompous. He said he was saving an Aerosmith song for the finale. That’s enough to vote him off right now. And he brought back the handkerchief tail. He took six weird, studded boot steps back from last week. Bon Jovi and the state of New Jersey are disappointed in you.

Haley Reinhart - “I’m Your Baby Tonight” – She sounded like a squeak toy trying to be sexy for most of the beginning. Well sorry, Sexy Squeak Toy, you failed this week. Also, stand still on stage because your attempts at seduction are falling short.

Stefano Langone - “If You Don’t Know Me By Now” – Speaking of short, he’s tinier than Ryan Seacrest. That puts you in the category of someone who drives a Mini Cooper for its roominess. In the category of someone whose ability to ride roller coasters is questionable. In the category of someone who shops upstairs in most Macy’s. He also sang really well.

Pia Toscano - “Where Do Broken Hearts Go” – She is a star. Three straight weeks of great. There’s nothing else to say except that if she wore the ears, she would have looked like a white chocolate bunny. That outfit was weird.

Scotty McCreery - “Can I Trust You With My Heart” – Hey, look who held a note. (It was Scotty.) I’ve nothing else to say. I think he did well.

Karen Rodriguez - “Love Will Lead You Back” – I hated this every step of the way. She looked like a Spanish fembot. I just wish she acted like one because a Spanish fembot would be programmed to sing well. And did she not tell that producer that she wanted to show that she wasn’t just a Spanish singer? So what was with that Spanish at the end? I wonder what her future husband Mark Anthony thought.

Casey Abrams - “Smells Like Teen Spirit” – I like him. He’s my favorite. I just wish he would get back to singing and not screaming on everything. Next week he needs to showcase his talent in addition to his personality. Did you get the idea his parents were the exact kind of parents you would picture creating a Casey?

Lauren Alaina - “I’m the Only One” – She needed a good week after last week when she made the first mistake she’s ever made in her life. Her personality needs to catch up with her voice. She sings so well and then she interviews in this supposed-to-be-cutesy baby talk. Maybe we can dub her like they do the eTrade baby to make her more likeable.

Jacob Lusk - “Alone” – It was too much. He can sing so well so why can’t the judges tell him that significantly less is significantly more? I’ll give 2 fish this week.

Bottom 3:

1. Karen Rodriguez
2. Haley Reinhart
3. Paul McDonald

Going Home: Karen Rodriguez