Elton John Week is not going to be good until Elton John comes to mentor. The problem is that Elton is Will Hunting and each mentor is the professor. Elton knows how to do the songs and he doesn’t want to have to sit there and watch those kids mess it up. There were some good and some bad and two will go home. I was way off last week. It’s time to hunker down.

Scotty McCreery – “Country Comforts” - My wife told me to write “country blah blah blah” in my notes last night. Sadly, it’s true. The guitar did make him look more comfortable on stage but I was glad he went first so it was over sooner. I wish a record label would come sign him now so he can leave the show, have a great country music career, and stay out of my ears forever.

Naima Adedapo - “I’m Still Standing” - This was terrible. She was dressed like a Drag Queen Evel Knievel. Evel “Can Can” Evel. She has trouble sounding good in her normal voice. Why throw in an accent? Because “no one’s ever done a reggae version of this song?” Has she ever been to Sandals? Every song has a reggae version. Every song. They put her in the right slot for this because it was poop.

Paul McDonald – “Rocket Man” - He would probably sound a lot better without the band. Unfortunately, he doesn’t seem to be able to get rid of them. He needs to take his guitar, tell the band to meet him in the parking lot for rehearsal, and then lock them outside the building. Until then, we won’t know how good he is. His tender voice is no match for that overpowering band.

Pia Toscano – “Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me” - This is a dangerous song. It’s been “slayed” by Clay Aiken and, I guess, chipmunked by David Archuleta. I feel like it’s been done every season. Regardless, Pia has a huge voice and if she wants to stand in one place and belt out a slow song, let her do it. (And I’m not just saying that because it’s my stand-up style.) There’s plenty of time for uptempo later. She’ll be around.

Stefano Langone – “Tiny Dancer” - It’s funny because he is a tiny dancer. It was a weird arrangement. It sounded like he sang the whole song but I hit fast forward on my remote to hear certain parts. Even if he sang it well, the flow ruined it. I think he’s in trouble. Someone is going to have to cut a tissue in fourths so he can wipe his tears without getting trapped underneath.

Lauren Alaina – “Candle in the Wind” – You can tell she’s doing a country version because she’s wearing a mullet dress. I wish she would act her age instead of bouncing back and forth between toddler and 35-year-old divorcee. Otherwise, she’s really solid and is an “Idol moment” away from being the frontrunner.

James Durbin – “Saturday” – It was a rock checklist. Angry singing voice? Check. Screaming singing voice? Check. High-fiving fans? Check. Fire worshipping? Check. Fist pumping? Check. Pretty impressive for 90 seconds. I’m not sure why I don’t like him yet but he’s growing on me. The next few weeks should determine if I laser that growth off.

Thia Megia – “Daniel” – That’s not Daniel waving goodbye. It’s all of America. Where’s James Durbin with my high-five? It was so boring. If she grew horns, bit open Ryan Seacrest’s neck, and screamed about the end of days with a blood-filled mouth, I’d still yawn. Nothing exciting here.

Casey Abrams – “Your Song” – He finally sang and it was good. He needs to go with the opposite of a playoff beard. He should get rid of a little beard each week until he’s clean shaven with balloons landing on his head. Welcome back, Casey. Play that piano kazoo thing next week.

Jacob Lusk – “Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word” – When they tell him to restrain himself, he looks like he’s going to explode and license plates and a boy who used to be a puppet will fly out. Basically anything he ingested while trolling the deep blue sea. So far, a restrained Jacob is a more palatable Jacob but not by much. 2 fish!

Haley Reinhart – “Bennie and the Jets” – She was really good in the pimp spot. Probably the best of the night…if you kept your eyes closed. It’s amazing how good she sounds. I just don’t know what her body is doing. He inner monologue must be, “Ok, Singing’s going well. Oh, wait. What’s that arm doing? Don’t look at it. You’ll draw attention to it. Now it’s doing a rodeo lasso? Why? Get it together. No, no, no, not the hips. I can’t stop them. Am I still singing? Oh good. How long is this song? Next time, I’ll just stay on the piano. Pia never moves. Why am I bending like I’m picking something up?”

Bottom 3:

1. Thia Megia
2. Stefano Langone
3. Naima Adedapo

Going Home: Thia Megia and Stefano Langone