Each contestant sang two songs for the second week in a row. One and a half contestants took the second song (from the songbook of McOld and Oldstein) seriously but that doesn’t matter to the judges. I have a lot to say so let’s not waste time on the intro. 

James Durbin – “Don’t Stop Believin’” – He’s the insecure kid that got picked on in high school and now that some people say they love him, his confidence is out of control. He’s a minute away from ripping through his high school yearbook photo on Maury while wearing booty shorts and yelling in the face of the bully who doesn’t remember picking on him. He started the song by saying, “Do you all know this song? Randy, I know you know this song.” Also, he wore a Journey shirt. I wish we could vote to punch him in the face. The numbers on my cell phone would be worn off.

Haley Reinhart – “Earth Song” – I’m not going to say that Haley nailed this song. The opening took too long to get to that inspirational belting part. Randy rambled on and on telling her she should not have sung a Michael Jackson song. It got so bad that Haley said something like “Why is he still talking?” Even the real Steven Tyler showed up and removed the life-size Steven doll with the pull string that says, “That was beautiful,” to offer to kill Randy for Haley. She should have taken the offer. It’s only a matter of time before she snaps and gets taken off the stage in handcuffs.

Scotty McCreery – “Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)” – I don’t know this song. I’m pretty sure it was just a listing of patriotic keywords. “September 11^th, yellow ribbons, America, flag, heartland, Jesus, troops, flag, apple pie, flag.” However, was this not the perfect song to propel him to the finale? It was genius.

Lauren Alaina – “Anyway” – She did seem to like this song and it did seem to mean something to her but I found it a little boring. It didn’t matter. The producers want a girl in the final and it’s obviously not Haley so Lauren could have come out in sweats, sat on the stage, and played with a paddleball. Randy would have still told us that Lauren is back.

Side note – Did we really need to bring out the four contestants and ask Randy who won the first round? His answer: James, Scotty, and Lauren. Then he gave Haley the finger and undid his stomach staples so his ass could get immediately larger to more effectively moon her. 

Haley Reinhart – “I (Who Have Nothing)” – Wow. Another Idol moment for Haley and another set of Randy and JLo ramblings about having to hold her to a higher standard because she’s capable of greatness. It’s really sad. Why not just keep the great one around? Just a thought.

Scotty McCreery – “Young Blood” – He implied Lady Gaga was the devil. That’s real adult. Way to accept people who are different. No criticism from the judges for pulling this hokey garbage after Haley’s moment? I didn’t think so. Why treat the contestants the same?

Lauren Alaina – “Trouble” – She didn’t want to sing that she was evil. She had trouble with it. Then she sang like she never had a problem with it. She’s like the person at a karaoke party who acts like she doesn’t want to sing and then asks for a spotlight before she rips out a perfect version of a song she’s been practicing in the mirror for weeks.

James Durbin – “Love Potion No. 9” – It doesn’t matter what I put here. I just want to point out the supremely douchey moment where he made the audience beg him to keep singing at the end of the song. Is this really an American Idol? Stop voting for him. He needs his spirits crushed. Crush them!

Bottom 2:

1. Haley Reinhart
2. Lauren Alaina

Going Home: Haley Reinhart