Each singer this week got to sing (sort of) three songs. One song was the singer’s personal pick, then Jimmy “The Manchild” Iovine picked the second, and the judges picked the third. Beyonce was the mentor for the first song and anti-Gaga-ed her way through it. She merely praised and moved on. Really the perfect addition to Season 10.

Singer’s Choice:

Scotty McCreery – “Amazed” – He chickened out from singing. He didn’t push himself as hard as he did in the intro package with Beyonce. It’s sad when it’s in there but you don’t take it out. A deep voice only gets you so far. Ask Darth Vader.

“Jedi, lock them doors and turn the lights down low…”

Lauren Alaina – “Wild One” – She doesn’t want to be called evil but being a wild one is fine. Wild is a gateway adjective to evil. The ending was weird. It’s like she cut herself off. This was kind of a disaster from the start which is unfortunate because she picked it for herself. It’s like Lauren went into a deli and said, “I’ll have the poop sandwich.” Why a poop sandwich? I don’t know. That’s what wild people order.

Haley Reinhart – “What Is And What Should Never Be” – Going with a Led Zeppelin song was bold. Getting her dad on stage was adorable. Falling on the stairs was a nice way to get sympathy and the singing was amazing. The only judge to not give her a standing ovation was JLo but she’s been brainwashed by Nigel Lythgoe to hate Haley from the start. You see how she breaks into sweats anytime she praises Haley. It’s because the implant in her head is inflicting tremendous pain on her.  Haley rules.

First round: Haley

Jimmy’s Choice:

Scotty McCreery – “Are You Gonna Kiss Me Or Not?” – Minus the faces, it was really good for him. The Manchild dug deep into his sweatpants and picked a good song for him. Maybe if they gave Scotty Botox all over his forehead, we could get a thoroughly enjoyable up-tempo song from him.

Lauren Alaina – “If I Die Young” – Every time she finishes a song, she puts on this guilty face saying, “Ijustsangasong.Ihopenooneheardit.Teehee.” Shouldn’t the 16-year-old personality take a back seat to professionalism by now? How many weeks can she get undeserved praise and not have the confidence to go for a note without peeking at the judges to make sure they are paying attention? None of this rant has anything to do with the song. It was – Jimmy wins again - the right song for her. She sang it well.

Haley Reinhart – “Rhiannon” – I almost wish Jimmy would have held onto the Lady Gaga suggestion for this week. While she sang Rhiannon well, it didn’t allow her to belt it until the end. I agree with Randy_______________ (not a fill in the blank, that was a flatline). As I was saying, I agree with Randy_____________________ Thank god the medics are here. Let’s try again a different way. The idiot was right. It is nice to see a contrast to Haley’s usual belting but this is American Idol. Subtlety doesn’t always work. Still, I think Randy’s approach to praising her is the perfect reverse psychology to ensure her final performance is terrible. We all know how ripping her apart affects her next song. Nygel put an extra Kit Kat in your dressing room, Randy. 

Second Round - Scotty

Judges’ Choice: 

Scotty McCreery – “She Believes In Me” – He was under that song the whole time. I don’t even think he sang the last two words. It didn’t sound right. It could have been a great song for him. Still, the judges loved it. I wonder what would happen if Haley put on a Scotty disguise and sang his song. 

Lauren Alaina – “I Hope You Dance” – Congratulations to the Idol stylists for making Lauren look fat. She did well on it. It might have been the best version of a song I never want to hear. If not, it’s right at the top.

Haley Reinhart – “You Oughta Know” – Why was Haley the only one who got their song selection in the back of a limo and not at a celebration surrounded by a crowd of loving fans? Oh right because we’re supposed to hate her. The Alanis song selection was a joke. There’s very little she could have done with it. The chorus was better than the verses but still, it was poor by recent Haley standards. And JLo got in one last dig at Haley before the finale. And why should Haley get into the finale really? She’s only delivered 4 of the 5 best performances of the season. If she deserved a spot in the finals, she would have gotten all 5.

Third Round – Lauren (by default)

Going Home: Haley Reinhart (be wrong be wrong be wrong)